Traditional style black and grey tattoo of a cartoon man in sunglasses with stitches and a red mouth, above the words ALL HYPE NO HEART, on a limb.

Cartoon face with sunglasses and lettering

Traditional · Other · Mixed · Photo

A cartoon man's face wears dark sunglasses, with stitch-like marks across the cheeks and forehead, and a red-tinted open mouth. The words ALL HYPE NO HEART sit in bold black letters above and below the face. Thick black outlines and flat grey shading define the design, with a small amount of red ink on the mouth and nose against a plain skin background.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Lenny Coyle could sell sand to a sandpit and then explain to the sandpit why it had been short-changed. Every August he set up beside the lifeboat house at Margate with a trestle, a hand-lettered card and a crate of watches that ran fast in the sun and gave up by teatime. He wore dark wraparound sunglasses even under grey skies. People said it was the glare. Bev in the ice cream kiosk said it was so nobody could see him counting.

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The summer the plasters started, he was trading on a story about a ferry company losing a container of Swiss movements off Ramsgate. Nobody had seen the container. Bev bought four of the watches for her grandsons anyway, because she had known Lenny since they were both nine and still felt sorry for him in the way you feel sorry for a dog that keeps running into doors. On the Saturday of the regatta, all four watches stopped at the first wave. She walked the length of the front with them clacking in a carrier bag, and he ducked behind the trestle, and came up with a streak of cherry lolly on his lip.

"All that hype," she said, not loud, "and not a scrap of heart." She peeled the lolly from its paper and pressed the red end to his mouth the way you would dab a cut, then took the watches, slid them back across the trestle one by one, and bought a 99 with her own money.

Lenny sold watches off that trestle for another six summers. He never took the glasses off, and he never once tried to sell her anything again, which Bev said was the most honest thing he had ever done.

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