Colour and grey tattoo of a leg lamp in a wooden crate with a red ribbon reading A MAJOR AWARD, on a calf, in a traditional style.

Leg lamp in a crate with a banner

Traditional · Calf · Mixed · Photo

A leg lamp with a red shade and fishnet-style shaft sits inside a wooden crate, with slatted boards drawn in grey and brown shading. A red ribbon banner across the lower design reads A MAJOR AWARD in black lettering. The linework is bold and dark, with soft grey shading on the wood and red and orange used for the lampshade and banner.

Traditional Neo-trad Calf Wood Banner Ribbon Lettering

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The crate was the first thing the bus driver objected to. Stanley Pollard had won it in the raffle at the Thornely harvest supper, and the card tucked under the lid still said A MAJOR AWARD in the parish secretary's careful capitals. Inside, packed in straw and a tea towel from the vicar's kitchen, was a lamp shaped like a leg, its red shade perched on top like a hat worn to a wedding it had not been invited to.

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Two stops out of Thornely, a lad with a guitar case asked whether it was a bomb. Stanley said it was a prize, which was true, and that it had been won fair, which was less certain, since he had bought four tickets to Mrs Bell's one and she had still come second. The lad studied the crate for a while, then the shade, and said it was the best thing he'd seen all week. Stanley agreed, though he was mostly thinking about the fare, which had gone up.

Doreen was no more impressed. She set it on the sideboard between the wedding photograph and the ceramic owl, turned it twice, and asked what exactly a man was meant to do with a lamp like that in a semi on Larch Avenue. Stanley said it was for the front window. She said the front window faced the close, and the close had eyes. He said that was rather the point of an award.

That night he plugged it in and the red shade glowed like a pub sign over the front path. Across the road, Mrs Bell's curtains moved, then stayed open. In the morning there was a card on the doormat in careful capitals: PLEASE RETURN BY NEXT HARVEST. Stanley put it back in the crate with the straw and the tea towel, and left the light on.