Back view of a shirtless man with a dark crown above the word poop in script lettering with a small arrow pointing down, placed on his lower back.

Crown and poop lettering on lower back

Lettering · Back · Black and grey · Photo

A man is photographed from behind, shirtless and wearing jeans and a belt, with his hands clasped behind him. Above the waistband sits a dark crown with a decorative outline, above the word poop in flowing script lettering, with a thin arrow pointing down toward the belt. The ink is a uniform dark brown-black against pale skin, set against a plain light curtain backdrop.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The Chamberlain of Little Fenwick had been ordered to fetch the royal physician, the royal mapmaker and the royal cook, and he stood in the draughty corridor of the Old Mill with three lists, unsure which summons to hurry. King Harald had sent for none of them. He had sent instead for Osgood Pell, the village joiner, and asked for a throne fit to bear a monarch's dignity and a monarch's appetite for dumplings.

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Osgood worked three nights by lamplight. He carved a crown of oak leaves across the top rail, and beneath it, in looping letters he had learned from a travelling bell-founder, he cut the royal motto. The Chamberlain read it over his shoulder and went pale. "Your Majesty may wish to reconsider the wording," he said. "It is a fine motto," said the King, who could not read the carving from where he stood. "Let all who sit beneath it be reminded of the royal purpose."

The first to test the throne was the Bishop, who had come to bless it. He sat, rose, and sat again with a look of dawning suspicion. Then the court, one courtier at a time, read the word and followed the small carved arrow down past the crown to the seat itself. The King was last to understand. When he did, he laughed so hard the new oak groaned beneath him.

Osgood was paid in full. The Chamberlain entered the matter in the royal records with a straight face: the throne was commissioned, the purpose was served, and the King never again asked to see the Bishop's blessing.

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