Colour traditional tattoo of a pepperoni pizza slice with a banner reading NOT, flanked by RIOTS and DIETS lettering, on a person's upper back.

Pizza slice with Riots Not Diets lettering

Traditional · Back · Colour · Photo

A pepperoni pizza slice with a dark banner across its tip reading NOT sits at the centre of the design, with RIOTS above and DIETS below in black lettering. The slice has bold black outlines, solid orange crust and cheese, and red pepperoni circles with shading. The tattoo fills the frame on skin of the upper back, with a dark garment visible at the top edge.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The snow had been falling since Tuesday, and by Thursday the lane up to Hollin Farm was a grey trough you could only drive if you didn't mind losing the wing mirrors. You are late. The Ashcombe ewes had got through the gate again, and you spent forty minutes herding them back with a bread peel while the van idled, its oven ticking in the back like a clock nobody trusted.

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The order is for the church hall, where the Parish Wellbeing Committee has been meeting since October to sell the village on a winter walking scheme that will, as far as anyone can tell, replace the Thursday cake stall. The old women have not taken this well. When you carry the box in, steam curling from the vents, Ruth Pickersgill, eighty-one and armed with a bread knife she reserves for mince pies, takes one look at you and snatches a placard off the radiator. It says RIOTS NOT DIETS in letters she has traced over three times.

Gerald Thorne, the chair, arrives in a quilted coat and asks what the fuss is about. Ruth peels a slice from the box, wraps its tip in a strip of card she has written NOT on, and holds it up to his face like a summons. Gerald opens his mouth to argue, and the slice, still warm and dripping, goes straight in.

By the time the snow stopped the committee had voted to keep the cake stall, the walk was quietly shelved, and you were back up the lane with an empty box and an unpaid invoice. In the morning the Ashcombe ewes were standing in the same gateway, looking at you as if you owed them an apology.

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