Neo-traditional tattoo of a schnauzer in a bowler hat and monocle, set in an ornate gold frame with red gems, on a limb.

Schnauzer in bowler hat and monocle

Neo-trad · Other · Mixed · Photo

A schnauzer wearing a bowler hat, monocle and suit jacket with a tie is shown in a grey-shaded portrait within an ornate oval frame. The dog's fur is rendered with fine shading and detail, while the frame has bold outlines, scrolled edges and red gems at the top and bottom. The background behind the dog is solid red, and the frame is finished in grey and gold tones.

Neo-trad Other Dog Monocle Frame Portrait Gem Suit Tie

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The miller's daughter was married on a Thursday, because her mother said Thursdays were lucky and nobody in the valley had ever argued with her mother. The dog who walked her to the church was a schnauzer called Ambrose, grey as wet slate about the muzzle. He wore a bowler hat that had once belonged to the vicar, and a monocle on a brass chain he had found in the mill race the summer before and would not give up.

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The ring was the trouble. The groom had lost it, or said he had, and stood at the altar with his hands out and his face the colour of porridge. Ambrose regarded him over the top of the glass for a long while. Then he trotted down the aisle, nosed open the pocket of the verger's coat, and came back with the ring in his mouth. The verger had been keeping it warm beside his sandwiches.

Nobody asked how the dog knew. People in the valley said afterwards that a dog who wears a monocle is not obliged to explain himself, and that the verger ought to have buttoned his pockets.

The painter from the town had come up to make a likeness of the couple for the inn. He watched all this from the back pew with a pencil in his hand, and when the bells started he drew Ambrose instead of the bride. That sketch hangs now above the bar at the Fleece, in a gilt frame with a red stone at the top and another at the foot. The miller's daughter, who is seventy-one and still lays a saucer of milk out for the dog's great-grandson, says the likeness is better than any photograph taken that day, and that Ambrose was the only one there who knew what he was doing.