Colourful neo-traditional tattoo on a leg of a grinning alien with an exposed brain and bulging eyes, beside red lettering reading ACK! ACK! ACK!, flying saucers, leaves and red flowers.

Alien with exposed brain and ACK! ACK! ACK! lettering

Neo-trad · Thigh · Colour · Photo

The tattoo shows a grinning alien head with an exposed brain, bulging eyes and a gold-trimmed purple collar, set inside a large shape with flying saucers, leaves and red flowers. Bold black outlines define the forms, with smooth blended shading in the brain, skin and rainbow-toned hair. Bright purple, red, green and yellow ink dominate, and the red lettering to the right sits beside the main design.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

By the time the string quartet reached the second bar of the Bridal March, the saucer had been hovering over the marquee for eleven minutes, and you were the only one in Little Wigsby who had noticed it was drifting closer to the cake.

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Your sister's new husband, Gavin, stood on the lawn with a sparkler and the calm certainty that the lights came from a fireworks display at the Lodge. Nobody had told him the Lodge was shut. Your aunt Pam was already on her second glass of prosecco, waving at the sky the way she waved at buses.

Then the hatch dropped open and out stepped the thing from the old comic books, its exposed brain pulsing like a cauliflower in a fishbowl, eyes bulging, grin full of teeth that had never once met a toothbrush. It looked at the buffet. It looked at the bride. Then it made the noise you had heard a hundred times on Saturday mornings: "ACK! ACK! ACK!"

You stood up, because somebody had to, and took the microphone from the best man's trembling hand. The alien tilted its enormous head, considered the microphone, then produced a small brass trumpet from somewhere in its purple robes. The bride laughed first, bless her, and within a minute the whole marquee was dancing. By midnight it had eaten three vol-au-vents, learned the Macarena, and promised, in a voice like a blocked drain, to return for the honeymoon.

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