Traditional style tattoo of a bulldog wearing a red top hat, with a banner reading Bitches above and Be Crazy below, on a limb.

Bulldog in top hat with banner

Traditional · Other · Mixed · Photo

A bulldog wearing a red top hat is the central subject, with a red banner above reading BITCHES and a second banner below reading BE CRAZY. The linework is bold and dark, and the dog's face and jowls are shaded in grey and black. Red fills the hat and banner, giving a limited palette, and the design fills the frame.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Now, you lot who were in the fifth form in nineteen seventy-one, sit down, because the dog is coming in and he has his hat on. That's Bramwell. Brass collar, red top hat, a jaw on him like a letterbox. He was the school mascot from the day Mr Oakes found him tied to the bike rack behind the chip shop, and he went everywhere Mr Oakes went, which is how all the trouble started.

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The banner over his head was Gordon Pike's work, done after hours in the art room with the good red poster paint. Pike swore it was a quote, the sort of thing a deputy head might mutter over a fish supper, and that he'd only copied it down. Nobody believed him. The banner underneath said the rest, and I won't repeat it in a hall with a tea urn in it, not with the vicar standing by the door.

Oakes saw it on the Monday assembly and went the colour of boiled beetroot. Bramwell was put in a glass cabinet by the gym, where he stayed until the year the school went comprehensive and the cabinet went to a skip in Hull. Gordon never did get the blame properly pinned on him. He got a detention, and a reputation, and the rest of us got the dog's name for the rest of our lives.

So when Gordon's sister brought the original along tonight in a Co-op bag, I thought you should all see it. Look at the grey shading Gordon put on those jowls with a Rotring pen, the little gleam in the eye. He was fond of that dog, whatever he said at the time. Right, who's getting the urn?

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