Colour neo-traditional tattoo of a tabby cat in a top hat and monocle, with a songbird perched on the hat, on the upper arm.

Cat in top hat and monocle on upper arm

Neo-trad · Upper arm · Colour · Photo

The tattoo shows a tabby cat wearing a black top hat with a red band and a monocle on a chain, with a small songbird perched on the crown. It sits inside a gold ornate scroll frame above a ribbon banner with the words "You sir are the cat's pajamas". The linework is bold and the shading is smooth, with grey, gold, red and green tones.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The cat has been sulking under the vestry pews since the organ started, and you are the only one he tolerates, so you are the one sent to fetch him. Your cousin Dilys has tied a lilac ribbon to his collar and fixed the top hat on with three hairgrips. The monocle on its chain belonged to a bishop who never once looked through it, and Mam says it should go back in the drawer before anyone notices it has been borrowed.

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Outside, the photographer is shouting about the light. A chaffinch has followed you in through the lychgate and settled on the hat brim, as it has settled on every hat in Llanfair for as long as anyone can remember, and it has no intention of leaving. You crouch beside the pew and tell the cat he looks splendid. He regards you with the flat green patience of someone who has been dressed up for a great deal less than this.

When the vicar finally clears his throat, you lift him carefully, one arm under his belly the way Dilys showed you, and the bird lifts too, then resettles on the crown with a flutter of rust-coloured breast. Down the aisle you go, past Aunt Glenys with her handkerchief already out, past the lads from the rugby club pretending not to cry. The cat's tail hangs down like a bell rope. Nobody tells you to put him down.

At the altar the bride looks at the hat, then at the bird, then at you, and her eyes go bright. The vows get lost somewhere under the laughter. Afterwards she pins a paper rosette to your lapel and tells you that you, sir, are the cat's pyjamas, and the bird sings one last time before it flies off into the sun.

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