Colour realism tattoo of a garden gnome with a red pointed hat, white beard and blue coat, on the lower leg of a freckled calf.

Garden gnome on a calf

Realism · Calf · Colour · Photo

A full-colour tattoo of a garden gnome stands upright on the calf, wearing a tall red pointed hat, a white beard and a blue coat with a brown belt and gold buckle. The figure is shaded with soft gradients and highlights, giving it a painted, dimensional look against the skin. The gnome is centred on the leg with plenty of space around it, and the background shows a red wall and dark floor.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Dear Mr Okafor,

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I am writing from bench four on Platform Two, where I have sat since Tuesday. Your lost property office shuts at five, and you told me nobody comes asking for a gnome with a brass buckle, so I have decided to take the matter into my own hands, which are small but determined.

The 14:12 to Skipton leaves at ten past six and I have watched eleven of them pull out. Each time the doors open I hear someone call a name, and each time it is not mine. I was not forgotten on purpose. Mrs Pell moved house in March and the removal men packed the garden in a hurry, my hat wrapped in an old county paper, and somewhere between the van and the platform I was lifted into the wrong box. I do not blame anyone. A gnome on a bench in the drizzle is an unremarkable sight.

Yesterday a girl in a yellow raincoat stopped in front of me and asked whether my hat was real paint or just very good luck. I told her it was both. She asked if I could count, and I said I could count to forty-one, which is how long I stood by the rhubarb, and she laughed and left a mint humbug on my knee. I have eaten it in her honour, though it stuck to my beard.

If the Pell crate turns up, please put me on the afternoon train and tell the guard I travel in the van with the parcels. The luggage label is still tied to my belt, and I trust the guard will accept it as a ticket of sorts. Yours with what dignity remains,

Bertram, second class

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