Colourful neo-traditional tattoo of a guinea pig in a space helmet with a purple body, set against a red starry background and a teal moon, on an outer thigh.

Astronaut guinea pig beside a moon on a thigh

Neo-trad · Thigh · Colour · Photo

A guinea pig wearing a clear space helmet with a teal collar sits on a purple, furred body, framed by a red panel with white stars and orange swirls. A teal and black cratered moon sits at the upper right. Bold black outlines define the shapes, with flat colour fills and small shading within the fur.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The helmet had cost four pounds at a car boot sale in Hebden Bridge, and the collar was an old dog's swimming float, which is why Maureen spent the whole of Thursday at the kitchen table with a glue gun and her reading glasses on the end of her nose. Biscuit sat among the offcuts through all of it, chewing a dandelion as if he had been briefed.

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The launch was set for the back field behind the Methodist hall, where the Parish Council had agreed to a rocket made from a drainpipe and two gas canisters. Dennis from number nine had built it. He called it the Tranquillity Eight and was very proud of the lettering. Maureen had doubts about the lettering, and about the canisters, but mostly about strapping a guinea pig into the nose cone with a strip of Velcro and a tea towel.

At ten to three the countdown began. Biscuit squeaked once, a sharp little sound that rose at the end like a question. Dennis pressed the button. Nothing happened for a long, dignified moment, then the drainpipe lifted off the grass by about the height of a garden gnome and sat down again with a clang. Half the village cheered. Biscuit, helmet still on, peered out through the clear dome at the sky above the Methodist hall with the calm of a creature who had always known exactly where he was going.

Maureen carried him home in a shoebox. At the bottom of the lane she stopped and looked up at the moon, which was pale and ordinary above the chimneys, and said, 'Not today, love.' Biscuit wriggled until she unclipped the helmet, then went back to being a guinea pig, which suited them both fine.

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