Colour traditional tattoo on a limb of a cartoon figure with a bare belly beside a red rose, under the slogan MY BODY MY RULES.

Cartoon character and rose with slogan

Traditional · Other · Colour · Photo

A cartoon figure with dark bowl-cut hair, a yellow shirt and a large bare belly holds a utensil in each hand, set against a dotted pink halo. The slogan MY BODY MY RULES arches above, with yellow diamond sparkles on either side and a red rose with green leaves below. Bold black outlines and flat, saturated fills of red, yellow, green and skin tones give a classic traditional look.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Dear Ruth, you'll not believe what Dennis did at the christening lunch. He stood up after the trifle, a knife in one hand and a fork in the other, and announced to the whole function room that three doctors, a vicar and his own mother had all told him to lay off the pastry, and that his body was his own business. Nobody knew where to look. Auntie Pat knocked the gravy boat clean off the trestle.

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I'd like to say I was shocked, but I've been watching that man balance a sausage roll on his waistband since 1987. What struck me was how calm he was. He didn't shout. He sat back down, cut a roast potato into four with great ceremony, and said grace over it as if it had personally offended him. Under the strip lights his bald patch caught the light like a little pink halo, and I swear the bunting above him looked embarrassed.

The vicar tried to recover by reading out the banns for the Hendersons, which nobody had asked for, and Dennis spent the rest of the afternoon cutting his cake into tiny, defiant squares and eating every one. When the photographer came round he asked him to pose, and Dennis raised his cutlery like a pair of pistols and grinned for the lens. That's the print I'm posting you. Mum has already framed it, next to the Royal Wedding plate.

Write back soon and tell me whether the Hendersons went through with it. I've a feeling your Gerald will be next to stand up and make a speech.

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