Neo-traditional colour tattoo of a grumpy cartoon teapot with a grey bearded face, wrapped in a gold chain and padlock, on a calf.

Enlarged with AI from a smaller original

Cartoon teapot with chain and padlock

Neo-trad · Calf · Colour · Photo

A cartoon teapot with a scowling face and a dark grey beard is the central subject, with a blue rim on the lid and a blue feather hanging from the handle. A thick gold chain with a padlock wraps around the base, and the bold black outlines are set against a close crop of a calf. The teapot is filled with flat grey tones and the chain and feather add blue and gold colour.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Dear Tomasz,

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You will not believe what Dad did with the brass key this Saturday. He stood in the rain outside the Corn Exchange with the tarpaulins drumming over us, and he padlocked that big grey teapot to the stall pole, chain and all, because the Harrow twins have been nicking anything that isn't nailed down. The teapot is the one Gran painted the blue rim on. Dad says it has a face like a bailiff and that is why nobody will buy it, so it stays on the stall as a warning.

Every customer asks about it. A man in a wax jacket wanted to know if the teapot was for sale, and Dad said, "Not to you, he's got opinions." Then he dropped the key down the drain grate by the fishmonger, and we spent twenty minutes on our knees with a coat hanger while the rain ran down our collars and the buyers wandered off to the next stall.

Yesterday the key turned up in the pocket of Dad's own coat, which had been hanging on the peg the whole time. He laughed until he had to sit on a crate of onions. I think the teapot is smug about it, honestly. Its blue feather still hangs off the handle, dripping, and the scowl has not shifted an inch.

Come home at Easter and bring a better lock. Dad says he's keeping the chain.

Love, Nell

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