Colour tattoo of a smiling sloth clinging to a cream sign with the words LET'S FUCK, shown on a section of skin.

Sloth holding a sign

Neo-trad · Colour · Photo

A cartoon sloth hangs with its arms and claws gripping a cream sign with bold black lettering that reads LET'S FUCK. The sloth has brown and grey shading on its fur, a lighter face and dark outlines, with shading that gives the body some volume. The background is plain skin, and the design sits centrally in the frame.

Neo-trad Sloth Sign Lettering Claw

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The sloth had been hanging from the east tower's ivy since the Tuesday after the bank holiday, and in eleven years at Carrick Hollow nobody had decided whose job it was to remove it. The trust had a form for pigeons and another for falcons. Nobody had a form for this. It hung by its back claws from the gap where a Norman window used to be, holding a cream board in both front paws, and the board said what it said in capitals so black that the Year Four party from St Aidan's read it aloud before their teacher reached the gate.

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I tried the long ladder first. The sloth watched me climb with the patience of something that had never once been in a hurry, and when I got within arm's reach it blinked, very slowly, the way a clock hand moves. I tried a broom. I tried a banana from the tea hut, which it considered for most of an afternoon before turning its head away. Dennis from the grounds stood at the bottom with his hands in his pockets and said, "You'll not win that one, love," which was the most useful thing anyone said all week.

On the Friday I went up one last time with nothing in my hands. The sloth didn't move, so I didn't either, and we looked at each other across a yard of crumbling mortar and a great deal of bindweed. Then it lifted one arm, unhurried, and turned the board around. On the back, in careful pencil that had faded almost to nothing, someone had written a single line: Ask me again in spring.