Colour traditional tattoo of a flying saucer beaming up a spotted cow, with stars and a red glow, on an upper arm.

UFO abducting a cow on upper arm

Traditional · Upper arm · Colour · Photo

A grey flying saucer with yellow portholes sits at the top of the design, emitting a rainbow beam that lifts a black and white cow. Four teal sparkles surround the saucer against a red glow, and the cow is shaded in grey with bold black outlines. Bright red, orange, yellow, green and teal ink dominate the composition, which is framed by the curve of the upper arm.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Nobody at the reunion believed Dennis Pryce when he swore the cow had gone up through the sky, least of all Mrs Lomax, who still runs the tombola in the village hall as though cheating at it were a hanging offence. I'd come over from Bolton on the 4.12 with a bottle of Blue Nun and a grudge about the 1994 netball final, and I was halfway through my second sausage roll when Dennis grabbed my elbow.

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'Harold's Friesian,' he said. 'Hanging over Carr Top, the summer we sat our O levels. Lights like a fairground ride, every colour going, and then the cow just rose up through it with her legs going like she was swimming in a bath.' He tapped the table twice. 'Nobody wrote it down. The teachers were all on about exams.'

I'd been there. I'd been sat on the wall at the top of Carr Lane with a fag I wasn't allowed, and I'd seen the saucer low over the gorse, grey as a pan lid, its yellow portholes winking like it was counting us. The beam was the colours of a Quality Street wrapper. I never told a soul, because my mum would have had me up before the magistrates for lying about the cigarette.

This spring a Christmas card turned up at the hall with no stamp, addressed to Dennis in careful capitals. Inside was a photograph of a black and white cow standing on a hillside in a pale orange light, and on the back, in the same capitals: SHE LIKES IT HERE. TELL HAROLD NOT TO MILK HER TOO HARD. Dennis went quiet for a full minute, then bought the next round himself.

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