Black and white photo of a fine line unicorn head tattoo with the words HOW EMBARRASSING TO BE HUMAN beside it, on the inner forearm.

Unicorn and quote on a forearm

Fine line · Forearm · Black and grey · Photo

A black and white photograph of a forearm resting on a floral patterned fabric. The tattoo is a thin, outlined unicorn head with a horn and loose mane strokes, beside a vertical line of block capital text reading HOW EMBARRASSING TO BE HUMAN. The linework is single weight and uses no shading, and the image is shown in greyscale, so the ink colour cannot be judged.

Fine line Forearm Unicorn Quote Text Mane

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The unicorn had been living in Agnes Pell's privet since the spring, and by early June the whole of Cold Ashby knew it was there, because it sneezed like a foghorn every time the wind came off the reservoir. Agnes said it was a sign. Her husband said it was a fox with ambitions. The vicar, who had read about these things in a book with a cracked spine, said nothing at all and went to fetch his glasses.

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The unicorn took a dim view of all of them. It had come a long way to be beautiful and had been, for about a week, very beautiful, standing silver in the moonlight over the churchyard. Then its mane caught in the brambles, a dropped pear split on its hoof, and it sneezed again, and a boy named Tom Ruddle laughed so hard he fell into the water trough. The unicorn did not know what to do with that. Nobody had warned it that being looked at would be so tiring, or that the looking would come with so many small indignities.

So it did what anyone would do. It stopped trying. On Saturday it trotted down the high street with leaves in its mane, tugged a tray of bread off the bakery step with its teeth, and stood outside the post office to have its photograph taken by three separate people. When Agnes came out with a broom she found it chewing a stamp off a parcel and muttering about the price of oats.

She never did tell the vicar what it said as it left. Only that it went off up the lane with its horn askew and its head held high, and that the sneeze, when it came, was the best thing she had heard all summer.