Black blackletter lettering reading CAN'T TOUCH THIS across the lower stomach, shown above black trousers and below a tropical print crop top against a green background.

Can't Touch This lettering across the stomach

Lettering · Other · Black and grey · Photo

A close crop of a torso showing the phrase CAN'T TOUCH THIS tattooed in black blackletter lettering across the lower abdomen, just above the waistband of black trousers. The letters are solid black with fine outlines and some internal shading, and the skin tone sits cleanly around them. The shot is framed tightly on the midriff, with a tropical leaf print crop top above and a flat green backdrop behind.

Lettering Other Phrase Text Abdomen

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The men from Ashby Estate came up the lane on the third Monday of March with two bow saws, a cart and a clerk who kept his hat on indoors. They wanted the big ash at the forest edge felled before the bluebells, because the new cottages needed its timber and nobody in the village had paid for the right to say otherwise. My grandmother had painted CAN'T TOUCH THIS on the bark years before I was born, in the black letter she used for parish notices, and the clerk stopped to read it with his lips moving.

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I had been sent up with the bread and a flask of tea, which meant I was there to watch and to carry tales back down the hill. The foreman tried the first cut anyway. The blade skated off the bark with a noise like a dropped plate and bounced into his shin. He swore, then tried the other saw and got the same answer, a sharp ring and a splinter the size of my thumb flying past my ear. Nobody mentioned the paint after that. They just stood in a row looking up at the tree, and the tree, being an ash, did nothing at all.

The clerk asked who had made the warning. I said it was an old woman who had never once been believed about anything, and that she had been right about the bark and wrong about nearly everything else. He laughed, then didn't, and took his hat off, which was the first sensible thing he had done all morning.

They left the ash standing and the saws on the cart. I sat on the wall and ate my own bread, and below the hill the cottages stayed unbuilt until the summer, when someone finally drew up a plan that went round the trees instead of through them.