Colour traditional tattoo of a cartoon brown figure in a blue beanie and eye mask, with banners reading TURD and BURGLR, a money bag and green and pink flies.

Cartoon burglar with banners and money bag

Traditional · Other · Colour · Photo

A cartoon brown figure wearing a blue beanie and a black eye mask stands beside a money bag marked with a dollar sign. Two banners arc across the design with the words TURD and BURGLR, and red stink lines and green and pink flies surround it. Bold black outlines and flat areas of red, yellow, orange and blue fill the design on lightly freckled skin.

Traditional Other Cartoon character Mask Banner Lettering

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The vestry safe had been bolted to the boiler room wall for ninety years, and Gordon Pike had not expected the boiler to be lit in June. He crouched behind the coal bunker in his blue woolly hat and his eye mask from a Scarborough fancy dress shop, listening to the vicar hum hymns through the wall while the dial clicked round under his fingers. Sixty-two pounds in the collection plate, he reckoned, plus a tin of old silver threepences. It was not much for a man who had planned the job for three weeks.

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The trouble started at the door. The heat had got into everything, and the sack he had stuffed the coins into gave off a smell that hung in the vestry like a wet dog. The flies came in after it, green-backed and pink-winged, a loud cloud of them. Gordon walked out past the lych gate with his head down and the sack against his hip, and by the time he reached the bus shelter on Mill Lane a small swarm was keeping pace with him, and so was a constable on a bicycle who had been called about a noise.

PC Sandra Okonjo did not need to see his face. She followed the flies round the back of the Co-op, past the wheelie bins, to a hedge where a fat money bag sat in plain view with its drawstring undone. Gordon was sitting beside it with his eye mask pushed up on his forehead, eating a sausage roll with great concentration.

'Morning,' he said. 'Is it the bag, do you think, or is it just the weather?' She said nothing. Above them the flies circled the dollar sign over and over, as if it were the only thing in the lane worth their attention. Gordon, who had planned every part of the job except the weather, sat down on the damp grass to wait for her to finish writing.