Black line tattoo of a cat head and handwritten lettering reading 99% pizza, 17% angel, fuck math on a calf.

Cat drawing and text on a calf

Lettering · Other · Black and grey · Photo

A close photograph of a lower leg, probably the calf, with two black ink tattoos. Above is a line drawing of a cat's head with partial lettering reading CATS R, cut off by the frame, and below is a block of handwritten capitals reading 99% PIZZA, 17% ANGEL, FUCK MATH. The linework is fairly thin and uniform with no shading, and the image is entirely black and grey ink on skin.

Lettering Other Cat Cat head Text Pizza Angel

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The customs officer at Dover had been staring at the same sum for four minutes. It was written on the back of a ferry ticket in a careful, slanting hand: 99% PIZZA, 17% ANGEL, and beneath it a row of crossed-out figures that nobody could make add up. Her colleague Ray wanted to wave the car through. Pat Okonedo did not wave anything through until she understood it.

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"It's a working theory," said the driver, a retired piano tuner named Lorne, who kept a grey cat asleep on the passenger seat. He had drawn the cat on the ticket too, a flat, cross-eyed face with its whiskers running off the edge, and above it he had written CATS R, then run out of room. "My wife made the calculations. Forty years of marriage. She said the pizza was obvious and the angel was a rounding error."

Pat held the ticket up to the light. Something about the ratio nagged at her, a cousin of a sum she half remembered from school. "And the last line?"

"Maths," Lorne said, sighing. "That was the bit she always swore at."

Pat stamped the ticket and handed it back, then leaned to the window and asked the cat for its opinion. It yawned. She waved them through, and for the rest of the shift she found herself doing the sums in her head, getting the same wrong answer every time and liking it a little more each time.