Colour tattoo of a pink flamingo standing on one leg, with the words 'Only one foot in the shit' arched above and below it, on a calf.

Pink flamingo with slogan on a calf

Traditional · Calf · Colour · Photo

A pink flamingo standing on one leg sits at the centre of the design, with its black beak and legs outlined in bold black linework. The phrase 'Only one foot in the shit' is set in black capitals that arch above and below the bird. Flat pink fill and heavy black outlines give a bold, classic look against the skin and a pale backdrop.

Traditional Calf Flamingo Bird Text Phrase

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Dennis had been told the flamingo was called Pauline, and by the third morning of the search he had stopped arguing with the zoo lad about whether a bird could be called anything at all. The boating lake at Hollowell had gone grey and wet, the ducks were sulking on the island, and somewhere past the reeds a pink bird was probably standing on one leg as if she owned the place.

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He found her at the far end of the drainage ditch, where the mud went down to the knee and smelt like the bottom of a bin. She was up to her shins, one leg tucked neatly under her belly, watching him struggle with the wellies he'd borrowed from the café. "Right," said Dennis. "I'm not doing the dance, love." She didn't move. Pauline had the look of a bird who had already worked out the route and was waiting for him to catch up.

It took him twenty minutes to realise the firm ground ran in a ribbon between the tussocks, and that she had been standing on it all along, testing each step with that bent leg before she trusted the other. He followed her out slowly, sinking at every stride, while she picked her way ahead without once looking down.

On the bank the lad from the zoo was waiting with a bucket of mealworms and a face like a wet Sunday. Dennis handed over the bird, wiped his hands on his trousers, and said nothing about the ditch. Pauline shook out her feathers, settled back onto one leg, and gave him a look over the top of her beak that said he'd been in the shit for twenty minutes and the least he could do was pay for the wellies.