Cartoon cracker character with legs and the words I'M GONNA CRUMB repeated above it, a tattoo on the side of the torso.

Cartoon cracker with I'm gonna crumb lettering

Ribs · Mixed · Photo

A cartoon cracker with arms, legs and a surprised expression is tattooed in black outline with a pale tan fill and small dark spots. The words I'M GONNA CRUMB! appear in black capitals above and to the right, repeated on both sides of the figure. The image is a close crop of bare skin with body hair, with the design filling the lower centre of the frame.

Ribs Cartoon Character Lettering Text Food

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Nobody in the tin believed Gordon when he said it, least of all Mrs Pilcher, a Jacob's from the bottom row who had opinions about everything. The biscuit tin on the dresser at the Anchor Street boarding house held twelve water crackers, and by the Tuesday of the gale every one of them knew what the cook did with the broken ones. Gordon stood at the lid's edge with his arms folded over his square little chest and announced to the whole tin that he was going to crumb.

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"Don't be daft," said Mrs Pilcher. "You'll be crumbed into the leek and potato same as the rest of us." Gordon looked down at his own thin brown legs, then past the jar of spoons to the window, where the wind was driving the gulls up off the harbour wall like scraps of torn paper. He did not look frightened. He looked like a cracker with a plan.

The cook came in with her hair in a net and her sleeves rolled. She lifted the lid and reached for the nearest cracker, and stopped. Gordon had planted both feet on the rim and was shouting, "I'm gonna crumb! I'm gonna crumb!" at the top of his voice, so loudly and so cheerfully that she laughed out loud, tipped the whole tin into a paper bag, and carried it down to the quay.

By dusk the bag was empty. Gordon lay face up on the wet cobbles while a dozen gulls squabbled over the pieces around him, and he felt, for the first time in his short shelf life, that he had been crumbed on purpose.