Colour neo-trad tattoo on a calf showing Maude Flanders from The Simpsons in the pose of Our Lady of Guadalupe, with the banner text ONLY MAUDE CAN JUDGE ME.

Maude Flanders as Our Lady of Guadalupe

Neo-trad · Calf · Colour · Photo

The tattoo shows the cartoon character Maude Flanders standing with her hands clasped in prayer, framed by a green mantle covered in gold stars and a red sunburst behind her. A banner above her head reads ONLY MAUDE CAN JUDGE ME in black lettering. The bold black outlines and flat, saturated fills in yellow, pink, green and red give it a classic colour tattoo look.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Dear Joan,

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You will not believe what Mrs Greaves did on Tuesday. The Harbour Hotel's new manager, a young man with a clipboard and a moustache like a shoe brush, told her the chapel bell was a nuisance to guests and could she ask the parish to stop ringing it at six. She said nothing. She went upstairs, came down in the green shawl she bought at the jumble in Whitby, the one with the gold stars sewn on by hand, and stood in the hall with her palms pressed together under her chin, quite still, looking at him over her spectacles.

He lasted about four seconds. Then he went red and asked if there was anything she needed. She said no, thank you, she had only been praying for him, and that Maude could judge him better than she could, which I still do not understand, but the boy went straight out to the pier and didn't come back until dark.

Things have been quieter since. The guests have taken to leaving their wet towels folded on the banister, and the bell rings at six like it always has. Mrs Greaves sleeps with the shawl over the end of her bed like a flag. Last night the wind got into the sunburst of the old lamp in the porch and threw red lines across the wallpaper, and I stood there in my dressing gown thinking of her, that stubborn little saint.

Anyway, come in August. The room at the top is free and the sea is warm enough now. Bring the good tea.

Love, Edie

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