Fuck around and find out lettering design
Lettering · Black and grey · Flash
A black brush-script lettering design reads Fuck around and find out across three lines on a plain white background. Each line has a tapered underline stroke, and the letters have bold, uneven edges with a slanted, energetic lettering style. The image is in solid black with no greys or other colours.
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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction
You are standing by the trestle tables at the Mallory Hall in Frome at twenty to four, holding a box of place cards you have already sorted twice. Aunt Bernice arrives with her handbag held like a shield and informs you the seating plan is wrong, because she will not sit within arm's reach of the man who sold her husband a leaking dinghy in 1987. You tell her the plan is final. She tells you that is what everybody says right before the chairs start flying.
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Your nephew Tomasz comes in wearing a waistcoat that will not close, clutching a speech he has written on the back of a parking ticket. The opening line is a joke about the bride's ex-husband, and he wants your verdict. You take the ticket, fold it into a boat and float it in the punch bowl. Nobody, you say, is making jokes about the ex. He asks what he should do instead. You give him the advice your gran gave you over a kitchen table: keep your mouth shut, let the other side talk, and they will hang themselves on their own words.
At six the fiddle band starts tuning and Bernice, now seated nearer the fire exit, stands on her chair to announce that the cake was cut by someone who cannot tell a knife from a shovel. The cake's maker, a woman called Lorraine who has been waiting all afternoon for a compliment, hears every word. By seven Lorraine has stopped speaking to Bernice, the ex-husband's cousin has found the punch, and the paper boat is slowly sinking. You stand at the back with the unused place cards and watch the whole room start to mess about.
Later, when the hall is nearly empty, you find the parking ticket floating face down in the bowl. The ink has run, but you can still read the first line. Tomasz has no speech now, and Bernice is asleep with her shoes in her lap. You pocket the seating plan, leave the ticket where it is, and walk out into the cold, knowing no more than you did at four o'clock.
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