Colour tattoo of a green cartoon monster with bared teeth driving a flame-decorated hot rod, in a Neo-trad style on the calf.

Green monster in a hot rod on a calf

Neo-trad · Calf · Colour · Photo

A green cartoon monster with a slicked black quiff and bulging eyes grips a steering wheel and handlebars, with a red object floating above its head. Below it, a dark hot rod with orange flames, exposed engine and smoking tyres speeds across the lower leg. Bold black outlines, smooth colour shading and a red background glow frame the design on the calf.

Neo-trad Calf Monster Car Flame Smoke Cartoon

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Nobody in the Scarrow village pub believed Dessie Hollis when he said the green thing in the quiff had been riding shotgun since Easter. Dessie was a welder with a face like a bent spanner, and he swore the creature had crawled out of the radiator cap the night he finished the car. We laughed until we saw the tyres. They were smoking on the cobbles outside the chapel, and the handlebars were turning by themselves, slow and proud, like a man reading his own obituary.

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The fire bucket was the first sign. Dessie had welded it to the roof frame as a joke, and somewhere between the forge and the Scarrow road it started hovering an inch above the windscreen, like a hat on a ghost. The monster never looked at it. It just grinned, a grin so wide it seemed to reach the bonnet, then leaned forward and gripped the wheel with fingers that had too many knuckles. Dessie said, 'Hold tight, Marjorie,' and I was Marjorie, because I was the only one daft enough to get in.

We took the pass in second, then in no gear at all, the orange flames licking from the exhaust like a dragon with the hiccups. The hairpins came and went. The sheep scattered. The creature hummed something tuneless through its teeth, and every time we hit the summit cloud, the smoke off the tyres curled into rings that drifted off over the valley like a row of hats being tipped.

At the top the engine ticked down to silence. The monster let go of the wheel, dusted its palms on its trousers and held out one long green hand for the fare. I gave it a penny. It turned the penny over, nodded as if we had a deal, and the bucket settled back onto the roof with a small, satisfied clang.