Black line tattoo of a simple doodled creature with dot eyes and a striped base, above a row of pine trees and the words i am not a gun, on a back shoulder.

Doodle creature and pines on upper back

Back · Black and grey · Photo

The tattoo shows a simple doodle of a rounded figure with two solid dot eyes and a downturned mouth, sitting on a striped base. A row of solid black pine trees runs beneath it, with the handwritten lettering i am not a gun along the bottom. The work is in black ink only, with bold outlines and no shading, photographed on the upper back against a blurred beach background.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

Lost property at Thornwick Halt has a shelf for umbrellas and another for things nobody can name, and the drawing came to the second one in a plastic wallet, tucked inside a timetable from 1987. I was the only one on the platform that Tuesday with the patience to look at it properly. A rounded creature with two black dots for eyes sat on a striped base above a row of pine trees, and across the bottom someone had written, in careful capitals that wandered into lowercase, i am not a gun.

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Nobody on the 14:10 to Carlisle had reported losing it. The guard said a woman had left it on the seat by the toilets and got off at the last stop without looking back. I pinned it above the kettle, where it could keep an eye on the tea. Every morning I found myself reading the words again, as if they were an argument someone had started and never finished.

On the third day a boy in a yellow anorak came to the hatch asking after his drawing. He didn't mention guns or creatures. He just pointed at the words and said, "It's not, though, is it?" I told him no, it was plainly a sad little hill with trees on it, and a passenger who had lost his nerve. He nodded slowly, took the sheet, and folded it into his pocket with the care of someone carrying an egg.

The train pulled out while I stood at the window with the kettle boiling behind me. The creature had looked guilty the whole time, and I had decided that was the point. I still think about that boy, and how the only thing I could give him was my agreement.

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