Colour neo-traditional tattoo of Hello Kitty wearing an eye patch, holding a revolver, with blue PEW PEW lettering behind on skin.

Hello Kitty with eye patch and revolver

Neo-trad · Colour · Photo

A cartoon Hello Kitty style character in a pink dress and large pink bow stands holding a silver revolver, with a black heart-shaped eye patch over one eye. Bold black outlines define the figure, with soft pink, purple and grey shading on the bow, dress and boots. A pale blue wash sits behind the figure, and blue PEW PEW lettering runs beneath the gun and to the right.

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A story inspired by this tattoo · fiction

The vicar had asked us to keep the speeches under five minutes, and Uncle Ray had already spent eleven of them on the marrow in his gravy. So when the best man stood up, half the marquee was still reaching for the sherry. Dilys sat beside me with her hat balanced on her knee, a small pink bow pinned to its brim, and she elbowed me before he got to the first joke.

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The cat had turned up on the cake table an hour earlier, in a shoebox lined with tissue paper, with a note in biro: Something borrowed, something blue. Don't ask. Nobody knew who had left it. It wore a black heart over one eye and held a silver revolver nearly as big as its head, and when Dilys lifted it out she said it was the only thing in the village that had ever frightened the bishop.

The best man got through his toast. Then the cat was on the top table between the bride's sherry and the three-tier cake, the gun pointed politely at the ceiling. Someone whistled. Dilys said pew, pew under her breath, and by the third time the whole marquee was doing it, even the bride's grandmother, who was delighted. Gwen laughed so hard she had to sit down on the hay bales.

At midnight, when the hall was emptying, I found the cat on the windowsill with its patch knocked skew-whiff. On the underside of the box lid was a second note, in our gran's looping hand: Keep it for the next one. She had never once in her life attended a wedding without making someone cry. I tucked the cat back in its tissue and did not ask.

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